So, here I am again. Behind the keyboard for the first time in about four months. Where did I go? What happened? Why the long gap between posts? I’ll do my best to fill in the gaps as best as possible for myself and you too.
So my last post was on Change. Lets do a quick re-cap on the changes I had to face. The first and indeed the hardest was saying goodbye to my Nonno (Grandfather). I love and loved my Nonno very much. I had to see such a physically and mentally strong man slowly loose all that we all hold dearest. He lost his mobility, he lost his ability to actively take part in his families lives, but the one thing he lost worse than life was the memories of a great life full of love. My Nonno suffered from Dementia and also if that wasn’t bad enough he also had parkinsons. I did do as promised and had the family over for Christmas. We had a great time and I’m sure my Nonno would have been proud that we all turned our feelings of loss into a positive celebration.
The second change in my life was a new place of work. I was made redundant due to poor financial decisions made within the company. As I mentioned in the Change post, It was the place I started to work at as a boy and by the time I left was a man. A confused and mixed up man but one none the less. I feared a change in occupation because I wasn’t sure I would be able to (cut it ) somewhere else. I have now been at my new job for 3 and a half months. I now know I have the ability to be able to adapt to a new working environment and can make it. Great huh?
Having spent the past four months looking at myself I have come to realize that I was heading down the wrong path in a way. Let me explain….. I was starting to think I was wiser than I really was. A little bit of knowledge and a undeveloped attitude can make a person self righteous. I think a mate of mine, Nate once said it was my ego talking. And he was right. I needed to take a step back and see it with my own eyes. I can sit here and type all the HAGAKURE I want, if I don’t understand the true essence of what was written and try my best to use it in my every day life it doesn’t make me a Samurai. Makes me a clown with a big ego.
Bottom line, I needed time to re adjust. Yes the whole 21st Century Ronin thing practically died off for a while, but as I said in one of my posts “this is for my benefit”. So I will do with it as I please and that is one of the things that I feel will determine my path. If i rush i’ll make a hash of things so it makes sense to take time out and re assess. I guess its like reading a novel. If all you care about it finishing the book to say you read such a long book then you will miss the finer points the story has to offer.
I feel I have taken some forward steps but also a few in the wrong direction. My wife and I have gone from feeling like total strangers to each other to feeling very close. We went through some rough times. But there is nothing I wouldn’t want to share with her. We now share a friendship and again, love. This to me is the most critical step in the right direction.
I will be using my group to actively commit to the life and way. I want people to give me feedback and their thoughts and ideas. So I look forward to hearing from you, without feedback Its hard to keep to the path.
21st Century Ronin 